Sunday, April 22, 2012

Goals and Expectations

Between the massive taper to Zumbro, the race itself, and now the recovery, I'm feeling a little lost.  

Looking back, I felt some of the same stuff last fall after JFK in November.  That race went fantastically well for me.  I ran the entire 50 miles as hard as I could and put up, what was for me, a great time.  I left with the air out of my sails, though, and at the time, chalked it up to just being sad that the season was over.

Like JFK, Zumbro went really, really well for me.  I ran through mile 91, which was a lot farther than I thought I could have, and I probably could have done even more!  The finish felt fantastic, but now, like last fall after JFK, I'm wondering what else I can really do?

I found this article on post race depression on the blog, "The Running World According to Dean", and it seems rather spot on.  I think I started running ultras with the goal of just running and finishing well.  The problem is that I kind of am.  The whole thing sounds silly to me, that running well could make me not feel great about my running, but I think that might be the case.  Failing to meet your goals can initially be a let-down, but it can also really fuel your desire, focus, and determination to be better!  Meeting your goals, on the other hand, although initially rewarding, can really leave you with a void.

In the past, I never wanted to set lofty goals or expectations to my running because I didn't ever want to be disappointed with my results, but now, I think I might have to start.  I feel like I'm missing something, and I want it back.

I have to add or change something, I just don't know what.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?  If so, how'd you get your mojo back?